A quote from the movie Remember Me:

“Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But it’s very important that you do it. “

M was offered to go to NY for a shopping weekend and if I want to tag along we have to pay for my ticket. Should he or we take it? If I were in my 20’s I would have undoubtedly said yes. I come to think of a quote from remember me movie. Things happened for a reason and if we don’t follow the lead we may never know. It may not be significant for you or me, but it will be for others and the world. So the question is what’s in New York?

There are many reasons why we shouldn’t, because it takes money and time for just a few short days of stay. 8 hours flight, flight turbulence and the hassles at the airport may not be fun BUT these are not the real reason why we shouldn’t. Yup, you see we can come up with a lot of reasons NOT to go or if I put it this way, not to LIVE. We’re not living if we stop doing things just because it takes some effort to make it happen or because it’s inconvenient. Life is a collection of experiences. Collect it.

A movie scene from Remember Me

Have you noticed how you are drawn to a certain person? Some of the actors/actresses are not that beautiful. What qualities make them so attractive? The two most important factors are smiles and wellbeing. We become more attractive when we are feeling great.

Here are my tips on how to find your gorgeous you.

Don’t compete with others. First, stop comparing yourself to other people. Not with your friends, family members, bloggers, or celebrities! Find your own unique qualities and draw from it. Take a photo of yourself and look for things you like in that person. What are your strength and qualities? It’ll not be easy the first few times but work on it and eventually you’ll come up with more and more answers.

Smile. Smiling means you’re open and it makes people feel comfortable around you. It means you’re happy with yourself and with other as well.

Take care of yourself both inside and outside. Eat well and workout regularly. You’re sending the signals that you’re healthy and can take care of yourself as well as take care of others.

Stop complaining. Jealousy and bitterness doesn’t do any good for anyone. Are you jealous of beautiful women and men? Do you hate Paris, Britney or Trump? Stop talking shit about them. You should look at the positive qualities and learn something from them instead. Bitterness is not attractive and it will show up in your face. You’re sending signals that you’re not happy with anything.

Remember, everyone like different things, short, long, small breasts, big boobs, huge thighs, skinny, curvy body…etc. Just be happy with yourself and make sure you’re feeling great.

photo: whltravel / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I’m not going to talk about loving your body, but love yourself when you’re doing “wrong” things such as indulging food too much or skipping the exercise when you know it’s important for your total wellness.

I would say I love myself when reaching for food I love, and I’m allowing myself to enjoy it too, but also love myself enough not to eat too much of it. If I ate too much I remind myself I made that choice and forgave myself. And the day I miss exercise I don’t beat myself up for it.

Loving yourself helps you to stay positive so that weight loss process is more “enjoyable”. Now I’ve more energy than ever to follow through my goal. Last year I was struggling with exercises and eating healthy. It was a very frustration year, and I beat myself up for nothing. But thanks to all my angels (readers) who helped me to get through the year.

Another thing is to believe in yourself. I caught myself for not doing that. I know I’ve ability to do it, but my behavior doesn’t reflect it. When I step on the scale, and I know I ate too much the night before, automatically I would be thinking “I’m gaining weight”. Now I tell a different story to myself “I’m losing weight.” If I gain, whatever, I don’t have to dig up reasons for why the number is up. From the book, The Physicist’s Guide To Weight Loss, author Mark Buesing wrote

Everyday you lose weight is the day you didn’t gain weight.

What can be truer?

Laugh is healthy too. Watch comedian, Louis CK talk about being fat, chaos and habits. Warning! Explicit language and a lot of cursing!

Louis CK : Getting fat

Louis CK on being fat.

It’s All in Your Head: Thinking Your Way to Happiness by Stephen M. Pollan and Mark Levine.

Like most people I’ve been searching for happiness through work, relationship, money, educations and so on. Only if we’ve a better job, only if we’ve better educations, only if everything is perfect, only if we’ve lost weight….you name it, we would be happy. We make plans and spend most of the time dreaming of the future, but forget to live in the present moment. If we’ve achieved success, it’s still not enough. We want more. This book will help you find your own happiness no matter where you’re at in your life.

Chapter 1: It’s all in your head.
The secret to happiness is in your head. It’s how you think, act and feel about yourself and life in general. No one or nothing can make you happy in long term. It’s up to you if you want to be happy now. You think you would be happy if you’ve the best shoes, own the coolest car or if your kids enrolled in the best school etc. These things bring short term pleasure but don’t confuse pleasure with happiness. Some people are looking for happiness in the wrong place by jumping from job to job or even from spouse to spouse.

Chapter 2: You ’re just where you’re supposed to be.
Comparing your life to others make you only unhappy because you’re focusing only on shortcomings, like how much other people earn, who has the biggest house, who drives a better car, where do children go to school and many others things. You may be jealous of other people who have achieved success or thinking the grass in greener on the other side. You don’t realize what risks they have taken and how much they have sacrificed to be where they are now.

Chapter 3. It Gets better.
Do you wake up in the morning and feel your life isn’t going anywhere, and maybe you start feeling depressed, or feeling beaten? Learn to have faith in time that things will get better. View passage of time as something positive and wonderful that heals the wounds and lessen the pain.

Chapter 4. Own your success.
Take credit for what you do and accept compliments. Don’t think and say negative things about yourself, because if you do that long enough, other will believe you too. Focus on what’s going right rather than what’s going wrong. Accept your shortcomings and failures.

Chapter 5. You don’t have to go it alone.
Ask for help and support when you need it. To ask the right way, you need to make it easier for people to help you and understand what obstacles they may face. They may have plans that day when you need help or other fears you don’t know. So don’t be afraid to ask!

Chapter 6. There’s no time like now, so take action.
Don’t wait for the best time or the right time. You cannot control time. Stop expecting perfection or be afraid to fail. Choose to live fearless. Don’t put your life on hold.

Chapter 7. Your best is enough.
You don’t need a perfect body or perfect career to be happy. Give your best, that’s enough. You can’t be best at everything. Stop thinking about all or nothing and don’t put everything else on hold. To increase happiness you need to attend to every area in your life.

Chapter 8. The past is past.
Don’t spend time re-living and regretting the past. You can’t change it. Learn to forgive those who had done you wrong. It doesn’t mean what they did was right, but you forgive them because you don’t want to hold on to the anger anymore. There’s a story about 2 Holocaust survivors Isaac and Natan. Isaac asks Natan, ”Have you forgiven the Nazis?” Natan reply, ”Yes, I have”. Then Isaac says, Well, I haven’t. I’m still consumed with hatred for them”. Natan then reply, ”In that case, they still have you locked at the camp”

Chapter 9. Tomorrow is too late.
Life is happening right now. Don’t spend too much time planning for tomorrow, waiting for the right conditions to happen and put happiness on hold. Appreciate what you have. Make a list of things you’re grateful for, people you love, the places you enjoy, the things that bring you pleasure. For example, ”I’m grateful for my friendship with X because he/she makes me laugh”.

Chapter 10. Out of your mind.
Happiness is internal and doesn’t come from getting a new car, buying a home, or getting back in college. You have the power to be happy and be responsible for your own happiness. Everything you need to be happy is in your mind.

The authors only scratch on the surface of what happiness is, but the book does a great job explaining how to change your attitudes to cultivate the happiness that is now and not put it on hold waiting until you’ve achieved certain goals/items.

I’m exploring the subject happiness, and so far most authors agree that it depends on our attitudes. We think our way to unhappiness therefore we can think our way to happiness. It’s All in Your Head: Thinking Your Way to Happiness is not a quick fix, but if you put what you’ve learned from this book into action, you’re getting closer to find inner peace and happiness. Stay tune for more reviews on happiness by other authors.

I’m trying to live in the present moment, but lately I’ve been procrastinating to go out doing stuff.

Day 1
Opening the blind, looking outside, ” Oh…, it’s snowing, the wind is blowing and it’s freezing
….maybe tomorrow.

Day 2
Opening the blind, looking outside, ”Oh! It’s not snowing…but it’s still freezing

… maybe tomorrow.

Day 3
Opening the blind, looking outside, ”Oh! It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining, the snow is glittering. Glancing at my thermometer, it’s a lot colder than yesterday

… maybe tomorrow.

Then reality struck me. What was I doing? I should be thinking what I would like to do today. True, that the weather was very cold but I cannot control it. I shouldn’t wait for the perfect weather to go out and do things. Then I remembered I’d an headache and was still reluctant to go out.

Anyway, I went out today. My headache was gone and I felt better.